


Ricksecutive Orders

by Karellia



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: 2016 Presidential Election, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 09:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4914637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karellia/pseuds/Karellia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick and Morty decide it’s time to Keep America Lookin’ Good by keeping illegal aliens out of the country. AKA the one where Rick becomes president.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ricksecutive Orders

Morty was sitting in his room, doing whatever kind of messed up stuff teenagers do, as usual, when Rick came walking by, doing whatever kind of messed up stuff crazy scientists do. As usual.

“H-hey Rick? What are you up to?” Morty asked.

Rick was carrying a large sign, but Morty couldn’t read what it said from where he was sitting.

“What does it look like I’m doing, Morty? B-*burrrp*-border patrol again. It’s tough work making sure these microscopic assholes don’t invade the country,” Rick answered.

“B-but what’s with the sign? Isn’t it… a-a little big for that kind of a job?”

“Oh, this? It’s… uhh… a long story. Basically, I’m patrolling the border of the Minutiae Men territory, who are patrolling their other border. They’re doing all the- *bluuurgh*- work and I just make sure, like, p-people don’t step on them or anything,” Rick explained. He turned the sign around, which read: MINUTIAE MEN PATROL IN PROGRESS! KEEP ILLEGAL ALIENS OUT OF OUR BORDERS!

“That’s a pretty sweet sign,” Morty noted.

“Yeah, no kidding. I just hope this whole thing kinda blows over by tonight because I have a hot date with the neighbors’ new hot tub! They’re away for the weekend, Morty,” Rick said, winking. “Wubba lubba rubba dub dubba in a tubba!”

Rick walked away, and Morty’s curiosity got the better of him. “Hey, Rick! Wait up!” he shouted as he ran out to the garage.

When he got to the garage, Morty noticed that Rick wasn’t there and the door was wide open. Looking out in the front yard, he realized that a large crowd had gathered and Rick was keeping them at bay.

“S-so as I was saying, these aliens are illegal, so you need to just… uh… back the fuck up. Thanks everyone, let the p-professional do his job here,” Rick was shouting through a megaphone.

“Keep them out! Keep our jobs! Keep them out! Keep our jobs!” the crowd chanted.

“Gee, Rick. Th-these people seem kinda angry,” Morty said as he approached Rick.

“You think? I don’t know w-what the deal is with the whole jobs bit, but… they’re on our side, Morty. They hate illegal aliens as much as we do,” Rick said.

“Y-you know, Rick?”

“What, Morty?”

“W-what if you just… I don’t know… gave them jobs or something? Like some m-meaningless task to do, for minimal or no pay?”

Rick shrugged. “Eh, what the hell. Let’s do it!”

Putting the megaphone to his mouth again, Rick started giving orders. “A-all right, who wants… jobs! If you’re in, stay to the- *brrruuup*- right. And everyone else can go home, you… anti-American… s-slackers.”

The crowd started cheering immediately as dozens of people lined up to the right of Rick.

“So… you hold the signpost, you hold this… wheezdooder… thing… y-you can just stand there and smile for the camera while I talk to this guy,” Rick rambled, turning to face a reporter who had just appeared.

“Sir, in one day you have promised to keep illegal aliens out of the United States, and you have created hundreds of jobs. Have you considered running for president? The people love you!” the reporter asked.

“Uhh… o-of course! This is my campaign announcement,” Rick responded. “I will  _totally_  run for president.”

“R-rick?? I don’t know if you should do that…” Morty interrupted.

“Shut up, Morty. I can get a hot tub in every room if I become president. And w-we can move out of this dump. I’m in!” Rick shouted, pushing Morty aside.

“All right, I’ll just need your name and a campaign slogan, and you’ll be published in our paper by tomorrow morning!” the reporter exclaimed.

“The name’s Rick. The slogan is… ‘Keep America Lookin’ Good!’ Twenty-Ricksteen! Thank you, citizens.” Rick walked away from the crowd.

“I-is this a good idea, Rick?” Morty asked as they retreated into the garage.

“It’s the best fucking idea of the century, Morty! We’re in this to win this! Twenty-Ricksteen!”

**Author's Note:**

> This was a bit of an experiment; I don't really write Rick and Morty fic on a regular basis. This is probably disappointing if you expect some kind of smutty stuff but get your heads out of the gutter, people. More to come (maybe).


End file.
